Courage To Sit

 
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
— Winston Churchill
 
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In your marriage, there are times when you ought to stand up and confront your partner and there are times you need to shut up and listen.

There are times in my marriage when I need the courage to stand and times when I need the courage to sit. Merriam-Webster defines courage as: “mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.”

I have shared in a prior blog about one of my fears, that those I love will leave me. Because of that fear, I have not always had the courage to stand up and say something to Ashley when she has hurt me or I think we need to discuss something in our marriage.   

There are also times when Ashley needs to talk to me about something and I become defensive and fail to listen. It is amazing what you can learn about your spouse if you truly listen.

Wisdom is knowing when you need to speak up and when you need to sit down. It is not always easy to know the difference; but there are a couple things you can do:

  • Talk to a friend. We cannot see our own blind spots so it is helpful to have a friend, or friends, that you can talk to. A friend that can be honest with you and tell you when you are wrong.

  • Meditate on the issue. Attempt to step back from the situation and think about it. Think about your fears, your wife’s fears, and what ultimately will benefit your marriage the most.

This skill is one that is learned by doing and failing. Over time, you can develop a better sense of when to speak and when to sit. When you fail, apologize to your partner and tell them you will try better next time, and then keep your word.

-Tim